Breaking the unrealistic post-baby body goals: navigating life after baby without losing your style.
Being a stylist who specialises in working with mums, particularly those in the postpartum phase, I know how hard it is to shop in this phase of life. As a mum myself, this issue is close to my heart. It’s my job to see and help women reconnect with their bodies after baby so let’s talk about it!
It's not uncommon for new mums to tell me "I'll wait until I lose the baby weight before updating my wardrobe" or "These jeans used to fit; maybe they will again". Women frequently wait for this elusive endpoint before considering a style update.
The result? Women set these unachievable goals for their bodies and wardrobes.
For a new mum, predicting what's next for her body is nearly an impossible task. How can women be expected to shop for themselves when they have no idea what their body will look like in 3, 6, or 12 months? And, more importantly, when do the changes end? Here is what I see happen with the mums I work with:
She shops and gets it wrong. It’s either too soon, the wrong size, a shape that is no longer flattering, a fabric that she realises later isn’t good for life with a baby (and soon toddler) or an items she doesn’t even end up wearing (hello those clothes hanging in there with tags still on them).
She waits and has nothing to wear except maternity clothes. She throws on active wear, often the same outfit every day. Or she hides under clothes are a baggy, black and shapeless.
The impact on the new mum who is struggling to grasp this new version of herself is so profound. It effects her confidence, self-perception, and overall well-being. She starts to feel less like herself.
The feelings of mum guilt start to creep in. I see this so often.. Mum guilt for shopping for herself, prioritising her fashion choices, and aspiring to spend any time on herself. For wanting to feel like her old self again, even though she loves being a mum. Is this resonating with you?
To all the new mums struggling with this issue, it's important to know that you're not alone. Many mothers share the same experience. You are worthy, and it's crucial to give yourself permission to consider your needs and desires.
Now for some practical tips:
The first 6 months postpartum are turmoil and one of huge adjustment. It is not time to rush out and buy a whole new wardrobe. You need what’s practical and useful. Breastfeeding clothes buttons, comfortable footwear for walks, and elasticated pants that balance comfort and style.
The second 6 months postpartum is about wardrobe curation. Do this slowly as it can be an emotional journey adjusting to a new body and lifestyle. My suggestion here is pack away your pre-baby clothes that don’t fit or do not match with your lifestyle (most commonly heels and party dresses). No need to get rid of these items yet, but get them out of your day to day wardrobe because they are the reminder you don’t need, and they do not help you get ready every day. Then take stock. What do you actually use on the regular?
Somewhere between 6 months and 18 months you’ll reach a new normal. What I mean by this is body changes will slow. For most the breastfeeding and pumping journey ends, and for many a return-to-work plan begins. It’s no longer time to wait.
You deserve to feel confident NOW. Holding off to reach some pre-set baby weight of size does you no favours. Dress your body for today, the mum you are now and the life that is with a family.
And remember, if you need assistance, check out my Reinvent My Mum Style service and let’s work together.
